When it comes to mature women, dating can present all kinds of challenges, especially for those returning to the scene after a long-term relationship or marriage. But figures are rising for mature ladies – and gentlemen – who are dating and looking to find love online.
In a recent survey in the United States, 11 per cent of older women and men who were dating said that social media was a good place to meet people, while 21 per cent said the same about dating apps and sites.
Closer to home, there were growing numbers of mature women dating in England and Wales for whom it led to marriage, according to latest Office for National Statistics figures. Figures for the age groups 55-59, 60-64 and 65 increased while all other groups declined – bucking the trend across all other ages for women in opposite-sex couples.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First and foremost, dating should be fun and exciting, and experience tells us that all long-term relationships start with a first meeting. So if you’re looking to date or find love but unsure where to start, read on for some honest and straightforward advice that will reinforce why, for mature ladies, dating is here to stay.
Try online dating
For mature women, dating sites have two big advantages. Meeting someone online and exchanging messages gives you a chance to get to know them before your first date. And online dating services are easier to use, better regulated and more secure than ever.
The key is finding a service that works for you. If you’re looking for something more fun and casual, you could try a service such as Tinder, where you accept or reject potential matches based on appearance. Tinder is a good option for older women dating younger men, as the vast majority of its users are under 45.
As for creating that perfect profile? Put up a few recent photos, talk about what’s important to you and be open-minded when it comes to what you’re looking for.
Don’t rule anything out
For many mature women, dating may present the challenge of finding someone new after a long relationship, so there can be a temptation to approach it with a very fixed idea of what you want from a relationship. Maybe you’d like to meet someone of a certain age, or a potential partner who has children. Our advice is to blend your experience as an older woman with the openness you had in your twenties or thirties, which may take practice.
The people you meet may have been divorced, lost a partner, suffered long-term illness, and/or have grown-up children – and you may fall into one or more of those categories too. Because you’ve lived independently of one another, there’s far less pressure for your lives to slot together perfectly, so while compromise will always be needed, maintaining your independence is also important. In short, be open to dating anyone with whom you have a good connection, whether they’re older or younger.
Don’t settle
For mature women, dating can turn age and experience into distinct advantages. Older and wiser, you are probably more aware of what you do and don’t want, whether that’s long-term compatibility and companionship or a short-term casual relationship. So there’s no need to commit to something that doesn’t feel right, and equally, there’s no need to rush into anything. You can take control.
Be body positive
Body confidence can be an issue for women of all ages so the message here is to accentuate the positive. Most older women have learnt to love and accept themselves as they are, so make that one of the things you’re looking for in a potential partner.
You can also make it one of the qualities you’re proud to show on every date, be it the first, second or fiftieth. Positivity and confidence are attractive qualities, so try to tune out the media view of how women are ‘supposed’ to look and tune in to your view of how you want to look. Muting the self-criticism may take practice but it has its rewards.
Endorsing brands that openly support older women is a way to enhance body positivity, as is taking up an activity that reminds you what your body is capable of. It doesn’t have to be a full-body workout at the crack of dawn – swimming, yoga, dancing and walking can be as effective. Getting fitter and more flexible may also work wonders in the bedroom…
Communicate with friends and family
Older women who have children may feel nervous about broaching the subject with them. Honesty is the best policy here – and with close friends or family members – but remember that you’re entitled to your privacy. Tell your loved ones you’re dating, certainly, but don’t feel the need to tell them everything, and only introduce a new partner to them when you’re ready.
Stay safe in the bedroom
You may be a mature woman but you’re never too old to have that talk. Returning to the scene after a long time away, it can be easy to forget about contraception. If you’ve been through the menopause it can be even more tempting to forgo condoms, but please don’t make that mistake. Whether you’re in your twenties or your sixties, the same rules apply about trusting your partner.