Okay, so you’ve got the conversation started. Now you’ve just got to relax and let the conversation flow.
It’s good practice to have some interesting topics to bring up should the chatter run dry. Same goes with having a few go-to questions in your back pocket.
Don’t worry, we’ve done all the hard work for you. Here’s what to talk about with a girl:
1. The Food/Drinks
It’s obvious, really. They’re right there in front of you.
Does she like what she’s got? Does she want to try yours? What’s her favourite cocktail?
2. Music
What’s also probably there and should work as its own cue is music.
Don’t use this as an excuse to tell her your top 100 albums in descending order, though. Guys have a tendency to get a bit crazy when it comes to talking about music.
Ask her what she’s into. And if she says something you hate (which, let’s face it, is very likely…) – fight the temptation to spit on the floor and walk out.
3. Television
You don’t want to look like an expert, though. That’ll paint you out like a couch potato. But, do ask her what she watches.
Remember – it’s not a test, you’re finding out about one another. If your tastes are hugely different, perhaps you’re not a right fit.
Don’t make a snap judgement on that just because she doesn’t watch Mad Men, though.
4. Movies
This subject works like the last two, but – you can use it to progress to date two.
Get talking about new releases. Listen out for what movie she’s looking forward to seeing. When she says it – REMEMBER IT. Later down the line it can be your key to another meet.
Clever, huh?
5. Work
Tricky topic, this one. It’ll come up, no doubt.
Don’t fear it, but do beware that it can be a touchy subject. You don’t want to brag about work if you have a good job. It looks arrogant.
Similarly, you can’t be too down on yourself if you have a slightly less than impressive sounding job role. Tell her what you do, say you enjoy it, then move things onto her line of work.
6. Hobbies
Now we’re talking (quite literally). People LOVE talking about the things they, well, love.
Get her talking about her hobbies and interests. Then the chat will, naturally, turn to yours. Tell her. Be passionate! There’s nothing more attractive to a woman than a man with fire in his belly about something.
Unless that thing is strip clubs, of course (usually).
7. Pets and Animals
Not that we wish to generalize, but there’s a good chance the girl you’re talking to will either have a pet or want one.
Furry friends will get them gushing with words and all you need do is sit back, nod and pull ‘aaaaw, cute!‘ faces. Talk about your childhood pet (do NOT cry!).
Show respect, love and appreciation for animals and you’re winning brownie points already.
8. Travel
Where has she been? Where does she want to go? Can you relate to the places she names? Does she have any holiday plans? Do you?
Okay, so travel questions are the sort of thing your barber asks, but dammit if it isn’t a great topic anyway. Those people know more than just how to make your hair look good, y’know.
9. Future Plans
Avoid making this sound like an interview question, but it’s still a good idea for a conversation topic.
Prepare your answer and you can appear focused and goal-oriented. Drop in a mention of ‘a lovely woman’ and ‘kids’ and you’re onto a real winner.
10. Education
You’re not exchanging qualification details here. But this opens up opportunities for anecdotes about school, college and uni.
Just keep ’em clean.
11. Pet Peeves
What bugs the girl? What annoys you? Keep it light.
This isn’t a chance to angrily rant for 45 minutes about your boss or referees.
12. Personal Struggles
Sharing struggles can create a sense of bonding.
This one’s risky, though. You’ve got to judge the tone of the evening. It could turn things a bit sour. But, judge it right and talking about things she’s overcome can help the girl develop an emotional connection and build trust with you.
13. Politics
Again, you’ve got to test the waters here.
This can give you both something to talk and agree on. On the flipside, you may find yourselves shouting at each other.
Proceed. With. Caution.
14. Drugs and Alcohol
This isn’t a topic for everyone, but you may have to broach it eventually.
If you’re either a particular fan or hugely dislike these two things – you’re going to need to she how she feels about them.
15. Ethics
It’s a tough one. Talking about morally questionable ideas and systems – wage slavery, real slavery, racism, etc.
Save this for once you’ve had a few conversations. Only things could turn sour. And if she’s not keen to talk about this sort of thing? Ditch the idea.
16. Dreams
So, this one can go either way.
Maybe you’ll get her to open up and talk freely about her crazy, interesting dreams. If that’s the case, it’s an awesome topic to talk about. Dreams are usually a person’s true passions. And people love to talk about them.
Or, maybe it’s a dead end. Worse still, it could just be boring for the one listening/pretending to listen.
Keep it in your back pocket and play it by ear.
17. Naughty Stories
Bear with us here.
You’ve got to make sure the girl you’re talking to is relaxed and open and honest and extroverted first. And don’t open with this whatever you do.
Plus, when it’s your turn to talk – don’t get too filthy. She doesn’t need to hear about what you got up to in that barn when you working that summer job when you were fifteen.
18. Conspiracy Theories
Who does she think killed JFK? Alright, this one’s not for everyone, admittedly, but it can be entertaining.
But either way, you really shouldn’t bring up your flat Earth theory.
19. Life and the Universe
If you can’t string a few minutes talk out of a subject as huge as this, then you’re probably screwed, brother.
Have a few thought-provoking existential questions in your locker—they’re an excellent vehicle to launch into deeper topics.
20. Love
We dare you!
But remember, guys. It’s a pretty bad idea to ask her if she’s in love with you. If you’re not sure why we’ve said that, this post is for you.
What’s So Hard About Talking To Girls?
Nothing, really. They’re just people, after all.
Alright, some of them are freeze-your-brain beautiful. We get that.
But just take a deep breath. And remember—you’re not alone. Lots of fellas struggle with relaxed chit-chat when they’re planted in a seat two feet away from women they find attractive.
Here are just a few reasons conversation can be stilted and men struggle to talk to women:
- Lack of awareness. She’s not your mother or sister. And she’s definitely not one of the boys. Be aware of your company and the situation you’re in. Some men forget to adapt their conversation and behavior and it can set up a terrible convo and really put a woman off wanting to talk to you. It can also land you in the friend zone if the girl is a romantic interest. And romance and friend zone go together like almonds and gum.
- Lack of motivation. Maybe you’re just getting out of a relationship and can’t stop thinking about your ex (actually, this is a great reason to go on a date). Maybe you’ve been forced by your friends to go on the date and you’re not all that up for it. Or maybe, your low self-esteem makes you believe any effort is futile. Lack of motivation can be a real killer of good conversation. So, what can you do? Simple. Get off the couch and get in the game. You’ll feel a lot better for it.
- Lack of knowledge. Don’t get yourself involved in talking about something you know absolutely nothing about. Unless it’s a favorite subject of hers and you mention up front that you want her to teach you about it. There’s not much worse than seeing a dude spout off ignorant falsehoods because he feels threatened by a woman’s intelligence. If you do this, it will quite rightly make her want to stop talking to you.
Conclusion
There you have it. There are a lot of topics here but don’t let that stress you out. Each one of them can lead to hours of stimulating conversation.
Do yourself (and mankind) a favor, though. Don’t talk about the weather, alright? Unless you’ve got a sneaking suspicion she’s dull.
Or a meteorologist. Or a dull meteorologist.