If you’re in a long-distance relationship coming up with virtual date ideas to bridge the gap between you and foster fun memories is no easy feat, but with some planning, it’s possible. Think beyond FaceTime. (And ditto if you’re hoping to schedule a first date with someone in the digital sphere versus traveling to meet up with them in-person.)
As Joni Ogle, LCSW, CSAT, CEO of The Heights Treatment, puts it, orchestrating thoughtful virtual dates with your long-distance love is one way to get creative and show that you care. “Taking a few little steps to plan a fun virtual date idea will make a world of difference in how much you both get out of spending time with each other,” she says.
“When creating a virtual date, it’s important to consider the pace and compatibility for both partners,” adds Ogle, noting that keeping things lighthearted and entertaining is key, but you should also remember that you don’t need to overcomplicate or exhaust yourselves with over-the-top activities.
Sure, sending a gift is great — but it’s not a date. Ogle also says it’s important to find something that will be engaging for both of you and communicate with each other about what activities or genres of music you both enjoy before the date. “A little effort goes a long way, and it’s amazing how much something as simple as an online dance party can bring people together.”
Ahead, Ogle and other relationship pros share their best virtual date ideas, which will make your boyfriend, girlfriend or loved fun feel as special as they are.
Have a themed dinner night.
Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you can’t feel connected come mealtime. “Pick a cuisine or type of food or dish to make or order, dress up…and turn on some music while you eat,” offers Sam Holmes, a relationship counselor and the editor of Feel and Thrive. Make this a weekly or biweekly occurrence and take turns with who gets to pick the kind of cuisine you’ll be enjoying.
Watch a movie together, apart.
You can use streaming offerings like Teleparty for Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, HBO Max, and more or Amazon Prime Watch Party, which allows two people to watch movies simultaneously, says Ogle. “This is a great way to relax and enjoy each other’s company.” You can just pick a movie and watch independently the “old-fashioned way”, but these services allow for synchronizing the movie or TV show you’re watching and include group chat features so you can gab throughout showtime. After the movie or show is done, Ogle also notes you can have a chat about your thoughts.
Have a book club.
You can do this via video chat or on the phone, but once a month, settle on reading a book one of you adores and then get to talking. Paulette Sherman, PsyD, author of Dating from the Inside-Out and the host of “The Love Psychologist” podcast says that discussing your respective favorite books is a way to “get a glimpse into your partner’s soul.” Plus, you may just discover a new author you love.
Try a virtual escape room.
“An escape room is the real-life version of the ‘Riddle Me This’ utilizing puzzles that must be solved in order to escape your choose-your-own-adventure room virtually,” says Anthony Canapi, certified matchmaker. “It’s all fun and games before time runs out. Work together with your date to escape the puzzle room in the allotted amount of time!” Try The Escape Game, Escape Treasure Mountain, or this Romeo & Juliet escape room.
Share your favorite photos with each other.
“Go through your digital photo albums together and share fond memories with each other,” suggests Ogle, elaborating that this is an intimate activity that will let you both feel more connected during the dating process. Either share your screen as you go through photo albums on apps like Zoom or Google Meet or create a shared photo album on your favorite app like Google Photos or iCloud Photos and you can each upload the folder with photos of each other. Better yet, surprise your better half by printing a photo book after this date night activity through services like Artifact Uprising or Chatbooks and mail it to your significant other as a sweet gift.
Try an online exercise class.
“Exercise releases endorphins and boosts your mood. Plus, it’s a great activity to try out together,” says Holmes. Streaming platforms like iFit let you walk, run, do yoga, cycle, or take HIIT classes all over the world from the comfort of your home so pick a mutual destination—Mallorca or Montana beckons—and tackle the same workout even if you’re miles apart.
Play some online board games.
“Nothing truly brings out competition and competitiveness than a game of Clue or Sorry!” says Canapi, adding that it’s easy to adapt this concept to be a double date experience where you can go against or work with your significant other. Some ideas from Canapi to get the ball rolling include Monopoly, Scrabble, and chess.
Share a hobby with your sweetheart.
The possibilities are nearly limitless here, and passion is contagious, folks. “If you sew/knit/paint/craft consider doing this along with the conversation. If you enjoy tarot reading, do a reading for a partner,” suggests Rebecca Blanton, PhD, a.k.a., Auntie Vice, a sex and kink coach/writer. “If you enjoy music or movies, consider sharing a playlist or watching a film together. If you love word games, play ‘Words With Friends’ or similar games online,” she continues, adding that dating should be a process of getting to know one another. “Sharing things you like (virtually) can inspire conversation topics about why you are passionate about your hobby, help you connect, and allow you to do something which takes the pressure off holding a one-to-one conversation online.”
Host a virtual dance party.
“Crank up your favorite music, grab a pair of headphones, and get ready to dance,” says Ogle. “Whether it’s salsa or hip-hop, you can have a blast showing off your best moves as you both groove along. Despite the distance, you can still share the joy of music.” Many companies also offer streaming dance classes online, so if you both enjoy grooving, you may want to sign up for one together and then practice your skills in person next time you are reunited.
Write dates you want to go on together and gather them in a mason jar.
How fun is this idea from Sherman? “Take a mason jar and create lists of fun date ideas you can look forward to when you do see each other,” says Sherman. “The teamwork and anticipation will make it even more special.” You can do this exercise when you are together and then each of you can keep a mason jar at their home to use when you get together or do it separately so when one of you visits the other you can be surprised by what’s in the jar.
Explore a city virtually.
“Take a virtual tour together of a city you both would like to visit one day,” suggests
Wyatt Fisher, Psy.D. “This provides something interesting for you to experience together and could spark conversation on visiting there one day.” As Ogle notes, you can take 360-degree virtual tours of places around the globe on platforms like YouTube, or sign up for a virtual tour or a city hosted by an organization. Doing this is also a nice way to learn about your partner’s interests, says Ogle.
Attend a virtual concert.
“Many concerts have been taking place online since the pandemic began, and they’re easy to find on social media,” offers Ogle. “This is an ideal way to experience live music with your date without having to leave your home.” Plus, if you really enjoyed the show, you have an excuse to look up a musician or band’s touring schedule and see about seeing them in-person next time they are playing in either of your locations.
Meeting for the first time online? Try a video chat along with this game.
These days, it’s somewhat common for our first dates with someone to be on video chat versus in-real life. For a virtual first date, Blanton is a fan of a straightforward video chat accompanied by this simple game: “Each person makes up a list of topics/questions they want to talk about, number them 2 to 11, and get two dice,” she says. “The questions should include things which you want to know about a potential person you want to date and things you want to share/hear shared.” Then, as Blanton explains, after introducing yourselves, take turns rolling the dice and answering the questions on the other person’s list which correspond to the question they wrote.”
Show your better half a place you love.
“Take turns showing your partner a place that is special to you,” says Fisher. “For example, perhaps you have a special spot on the coast that you love. You can bring your virtual chat to that location to show your partner and discuss why it’s special to you.” Besides, playing tour guide to a neat place may remind your partner they want to visit again pronto.
Take a sacred bath in tandem.
Sherman, who wrote a book devoted to this topic called The Book of Sacred Baths with 52 soaking routines for every week of the year, recommends using a bath tray for this intimate activity that holds your phones so you can talk to each other. (She also says you can place a tablet stand on the sink.) “You can put Epsom salt in the bath to detox or essential oils to relax like lavender and orange for joy; you can do a meditation together to get guidance on your next bucket list of trips or steps as a couple,” says Sherman. “It’s sexy, free, spiritual, and relaxing.”